When a bunch of Army guys, some beer and a weeks leave down on the Southern tip of Spain get together, you never know what might happen. There we were, on the beach, "checking out the sights" feeling no pain from the three beers (ya, right) that I had that warm afternoon.
As we strolled down the shoreline, hunger began to set in and we thought we might try the snack stands that line the beach every 100 feet or so. I did a quick recon of the area and quickly found my place in line, right behind "one of the local natives of the female gender". I struck up a quick conversation with her(part of my military training ya know) and discovered she was from Scotland!
"Aye, lassie, your from Scotland you be?" (I said in my phony - GI wanting to sound like a Scot - accent. "Yes" she replied, "I'm here on two weeks vacation" in her alluring Scottish accent. We continued our conversation and in just a few short minutes, it was her turn to order. As the guy handed her order to her, I noticed that it was onion rings. I was next. Quickly, I passed my request to him, "just give me what she ordered, and can you make it fast? (She was slowly walking away, turning around at times, and glancing back at me with a smile)
My heart dropped as the guy told me "I'm all out right now, I'll have to drop a fresh batch in the fryer, It'll just be a minute or two". Since I'd already paid, I was stuck waiting for my "onion rings" as this "Lass" from Scotland got lost in the crowd.
A few minutes later, I met back up with my buddies who had found a "strategic position" on the beach. I gave them a quick "intel report " of the short but "failed" connection I made with the Scottish girl at the snack stand.
You can only imagine the ribbing I got from my buddies in "having failed in my mission" as they laughingly put it. The good thing was I was hungry and I had my onion rings and they had nothing. As I sat down on the warm Spanish sand, I graciously offered them one of my onion rings. A silence came over them as their eyes opened wide. "Onion rings?" they said. I said "yeah man, onion rings", "I ordered the same thing she did". "I told you, I had to wait
in line while the guy put a fresh batch in".
It was a scene you only see in the movies, five drunk GIs rolling in the sand laughing at me. After they recovered their wits, they sat back up trying to regain their composure. Seconds later, back down they went, laughing while everyone near us stared on.
I looked to my left, I looked to my right and behind me. What could so funny about a guy sitting on a beach eating onion rings? With tears in their eyes from laughing so hard, one of them asked me "Do you know what you ordered back there?" I said "Of course, whats the joke?" "TRY one of those onion rings" my buddy said.
As I sampled the first one, I noted how chewy it was. "How different these Spanish onion rings are from the ones in the U.S." I thought. "Man, these taste a lot different from the ones back home" I said. They couldn't wait any longer. "You big dummy, those aren't onion rings, that's fried Calamari!"
Ok, so I was the center of their humor that afternoon. Actually, that stuff was pretty tasty. "Maybe before we go back to the Hotel, I'll get another order" I thought.
The day was passing by quickly so we decided to do some more "reconnaissance" along the beach before returning to our Hotel.
As the evening came, I wanted to make a quick stop and grab another order of my "Spanish onion rings" as my buddies now called them. I got in line at the same stand as before, my buddies standing back and still snickering. Right about then I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Still hungry are ya" the Scottish female voice said. I turned around and there she was. This dark haired beauty with the greenest of eyes and a voice from heaven. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my buddies, now silent, looking at the two of us.
"You guys go on ahead without me" I yelled. "I'll catch up up with you later at the Hotel" "Yeah, right" they replied. as they walked off towards the room. It was just her and I now.
"You know, they have a great item on the menu here that is very unique" I told her. "Let me order some for both of us, then we'll find a nice place to sit and watch the sun go down" "That sounds great" she said.
"How do you feel about onion rings" I said. "Whats so unique about onion rings" she replied with a smile. "Well you see, there not just any old onion rings.....they're Spanish Onion Rings....and something tells me your gonna like'em"
(This a true story of me, a GI stationed in Germany and my buddies on leave in Spain one hot Summer. I can't do a "part two" to the story, but I'll tell you this: We never finished the onion rings!)
